Q: Is there an appropriate age? My niece is 11 and wore a halter bikini this summer. She hasn't started developing yet but I think she will soon and the thought of guys and older men looking at my little niece in a sexual way creeps me out! When do girls usually start wearing bikinis? (I'm kind of conservative and have always worn one pieces)
A: Childhood seems to be getting shorter and shorter from generation to generation. Kids want to grow up as fast as possible these days. I would say that compared to the majority of other 11 year olds, she is right on track, but this is also because much of the parent generation thinks it is "cute" that their children are trying to be like adults, so there is little opposition to this trend. Whether or not it is appropriate depends on how mature she is, and, most likely, she is not at a mature enough age to understand the possible consequences. To her, it may just be her idea of transitioning from childhood to preteen years, but to you and to older men and even boys her age, this is more of a sexual gesture. At least talk to her about your concern, even if you don't force her to wear something else, because then, at least, she will be more aware of what she is doing. If, however, she does not show maturity concerning the matter, then you must know that you still have the authority to correct her as a parental figure because she is still a child and doesn't know what is best for her.